little reader

It looks like our love of reading might have been passed to the next generation...


Peter loves his Hearts and Stars book (and his Spots and Dots as well). He'll look at these pages for what seems like an eternity for a baby.

Davis Family Adventure: The Conclusion

My parents left very early yesterday morning for their flight back to Indiana. Whew! (That's for my father, who told me I was free to blog about how "relieved" we were that they were gone.)

But seriously - whew! We did a ton with them during their two weeks home. Yesterday was spent in recovery: both Peter and I were power nappers, and Kevin pulled out the Battlestar Galactica, a sure sign that nothing of consequence will be accomplished on a well-deserved lazy Saturday.

It was nice they could spend so much time here, because they were able to see just how much Peter changes daily. And, in a few weeks, they'll get to see him again as we visit Indiana.

Until then, some memories of the last week of their trip:

Mission San Juan Bautista
The largest of California's 21 missions, and site of Hitchcock's Vertigo. It was pretty cool, if only for the crazy statue of John the Baptist outside.

Peter's Opinion: Nice, because it was mostly inside or in the shade. Plus, it was only a short car ride - always a plus! Thee out of four Pampers.

Locusts and wild honey, indeed! SJB's looking a little too much like a Calvin Klein model here.

Old Town Sacramento
It looks old, but it's full of all kinds of modern treats, like taffy and ice cream. As Kevin said, "I didn't expect it to be full of stores, but they're the kind of stores I like - candy stores and joke shops."

Peter's Opinion: Kind of a far drive, and a little sunny for me to enjoy it fully. Plus. there were too many loud trains. (This is true: the loudest Kevin and I have ever heard Peter cry, aside from those times when he received a shot, was when a train chugged past us and unexpectedly blew its whistle. It was pretty heartbreaking how upset the little dude was.) Two out of four Pampers.

The Uncle Sam Handshake Rater told me that I'm an "expert on everything." Damn straight.

Taffy, taffy everywhere...but it's all dolphin free (??).

Jelly Belly Factory
So, yeah, we've been here before, but it was on the way, the baby needed a diaper change, my father wanted to collect the "elongated coin" found inside, and Kevin and I knew that it serves Blue Bunny ice cream. And we love that Blue Bunny ice cream! This is how we came to enjoy ice cream before 11 a.m.
Peter's Opinion: Love those bathrooms! Four out of four Pampers.

For the record: Birthday cake and cotton candy ice cream goes down really easy at 10:37 a.m.
Also note: Kevin's watch is 5 minutes fast.

Egyptian Museum
Pretty interesting, even if we all were exhausted! Peter's Opinion: I was very, very quiet. Three out of four Pampers.

A probabilist's work is never done.

Mission San Juan Bautista

Jelly Belly Factory

Old Town Sacramento

Egyptian Museum

Sicko made me feel oh-so-sick

Last night Kevin and I took advantage of yet more free babysitting and saw Sicko. A few comments:

(1) Kevin now is fully on the moving to Toronto boat. Now, we just have to pray for a job opening.
(2) The birthing rooms at the NHS hospitals in Britain are really pretty sweet. I saw a ball and a hammock, and who knows what other devices were tucked away.
(3) Just when you think postpartum emotions have stabilized, you find yourself with tears dripping down your faces. I hope this will end, soon, because it's getting a little old.
(4) Did I mention Kevin's down with moving to Toronto? Just checking.
(5) See, the good thing about moving to Toronto is that we can ensure our children will have very little chance of thinking that dropping off uninsured sick people at a homeless shelter is okay. I'm not really sure how we, as a country, have sanctioned such heartlessness as perfectly fine.
(6) And we say we live in a "Christian country" with "family values."
(7) Kevin adds, "the thing about the taxes that I told you." Which is: Michael Moore should have taken a cue from political science professor and not-so-secret socialist John Stephens and shown that there is very little difference in disposable income between a country like Sweden, which provides a TON of social benefits via taxes and redistribution, and the United States. (Sure, the United States does provide some social benefits - Social Security Administration, anyone? - but who really relies on these benefits? Would you say, "well, I'm unemployed, but at least I get Medicaid!")
(8) Kevin also adds, "we'll move to Toronto."
(9) And, a bit of irony:

Transformers

Taking advantage of free babysitting, Kevin and I saw the Transformers tonight. (We arrived at the Transformers after realizing that it was theonlysinglemovie being shown between 8 and 9 p.m.)

So, while movies such as the Transformers clearly do not stand up to plot scrutiny, we did have these comments and questions:

(1) Why couldn't Megatron kill Shia LaBeouf? Really, if I were a giant alien robot, I'd hope I could take out little Louis Stevens.

(2) I can make a case for why the Transformers needed to transform into the first automobile they see...but why can't they re-transform after? I mean, wouldn't Optimus Prime want to be something a little more agile than a big rig?

(3) Why do I suddenly want to buy a Camaro? And drink a Mountain Dew? And call on Deloitte & Touche for all of my accounting needs?

When the movie didn't feel like a really long GM commercial, it was pretty fun. It was kind of cool to see the robots blowing up stuff. Kevin and I alternated between almost having seizures (due to the non-stop frenetic activity) and enjoying the ride.

Really, it's a lot better than the other Transformers movie, which Kevin rented from Netflix a few months ago. I suspect that it could only have been enjoyed under the influence of mind-altering substances. It's telling that the first Transformers movie reminded me a lot of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

TV Tuesday

This is the Hopen. Using the verb "to hope" write your own dirty joke.

It was going to be drive-in Tuesday, but someone didn't want to drive all the way to the dodgy part of San Jose to see Ratatouille. So, we watched:

The Ringer.
(1) How do movies like this get made? Really.
(2) The Special Olympics dorms have the same bed that KJ and I have. (Kevin: "I thought it looked familiar.")
(3) Kevin: "I thought The Ringer was pretty good, though. I mean, didn't you think it had a good message?"
(4) I also thought The Ringer had a good message, but was curious about:
(a) Why were the Special Olympics on TV? and
(b) Why didn't anyone say, "hey, that kid was state champ?"

Shaq's Big Challenge.
(1) The love affair continues. Sigh. I heart Shaq.
(2) I also really love how seemingly unselfconscious these kids are. They are, for lack of a better word, very kidlike. Like, for example, how they really don't seem to realize that all of those video cameras recording their every move might show how they're slacking on their exercise routine. Or eating four slices of pizza in one sitting.

shaq-tastic

Disclaimer: I am in love with Shaquille O'Neal - recall my desire to call BDR "Shaquila O'Neala." I love his giantness, I love his attitude, I love the fact that he his bed is 30 feet by 15 feet. I love the fact that he seems like a genuinely good person - getting his BA to please his mother, and then getting an (albeit fake University of Phoenix) MBA, and being a semi-kind-of police officer. I admit I've never seen Kazaam, nor have I ever listened to Shaq Fu: Da Return, but I'm sure even these wouldn't deter my love.

Plus, he's kind of good at basketball.

I don't understand why people don't like Shaq's Big Challenge. It's certainly the best thing I've seen on network TV in the past few months, and, as far as I can tell, the premise is pretty solid: there are lots of fat kids, fat kids are unhealthy and unhappy, and we should do more to make fat kids into skinny kids.

It seems the dissent comes in two forms: first, Shaq's kind of a porker himself. True enough, but he's also a professional athlete who can actually run up and down the court. I'd be more skeptical about the athleticism of fat athletes if I didn't see Charles Barkely tear up the court in a race with Dick Bavetta during last year's All Star game or the 1993 Phillies (who might not be the best example, as they didn't exactly win, but they were fat). All I know is that Shaq can make a basket over some kid's house, while I can't even make any shot from any distance, and that has to count for something. (About $100 million, if I'm not mistaken.)

The second problem people seem to have with the show is...well, that it calls some kids fat. But really, these kids are fat, and to imagine they think otherwise is ridiculous. I'm not entirely sure what the risk is of telling obese children that they need help (that is, they need to go on a diet and exercise), but our country really has a problem doing it. Is the fear that the obesity epidemic will flip to an anorexia epidemic? And is that really a valid fear?

Blame McDonalds and Hostess, not Shaq, for childhood obesity.

Anyway, the show is pretty much awesome. It shows Shaq as both this total dork who uses the same hit-my-hand-on-the-top-of-the-door-frame-and-pretend-I-hit-my-head trick over and over, who uses his fame (and size) to intimidate local bullies into leaving one of his fat kids alone, and who admits to being a sucker Dad to his kids.

In my dream world, there is a show of 8 to 10 minute clips of crazy but charismatic athletes - guys like Shaq or Charles Barkley or George Foreman - just doing normal stuff. Or complaining. My favorite part of any basketball game on TNT is when Charles Barkley starts getting cranky. Oh, well. I just have to hope ABC won't cancel this, because I'm really not sure what else I could possibly watch.

I got knocked up too

While Kevin's parents were here, we took advantage of the free babysitting and saw Knocked Up.

The movie itself was fine - I particularly liked the idea of the little girl Googling "murder" - but not as funny as I'd been led to believe.

Mostly, I found myself surprised by a few things - like, I really miss being pregnant. Specifically, I miss having BDR safely ensconced within the womb. Sure, I didn't really know BDR then, but he was always safe and always with me.

Also, I was very unprepared for my emotional reaction to the birth at the end of the movie. Luckily, there are only a few minutes of movie after the big birth scene, or otherwise I'd have needed to leave the theater early. Seriously: tears, on the verge of sobbing, partly for the memories of birth, mostly for the missing of my child. And I should note that I've not had post-partum crying since the middle of May.

Oh, well. I'm not saying we should have seen Evan Almighty or anything (does anyone else think Steve Carell is the next Jim Carrey? and I mean this in a bad way.), but I do think it might have been a little too soon.

At least the popcorn had real butter.

the crap I read

Does anyone remember this really terrible MTV show The Blame Game? All I really remember about it was that the point of the show was to prove who was responsible for a couple's break-up. In one segment the couple had a chance to air embarrassing dirty laundry about each other, and the accused could either deny the embarrassing facts, or he could admit to it, by hitting a button and saying, "I admit it." Any time I'm about to admit something embarrassing about myself, I often think of this - and, in my head, I'm slapping an imaginary button and proudly admitting something embarrassing...

...like all of the above. See, the thing is, I had a LOT of free time in college.

As much as I like to read the classics, the modern classics, and the should-be modern classics, I read a prodigious amount of crap as well. In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit to reading:

All of Jane Green's novels. Well, not the most recent one, but I just bought it at Target. In hardcover.

All of Sophie Kinsella's novels - including Shopaholic and Baby while pregnant.

Lots of crappy YA novels, including the following serials: Gossip Girl, The A List, The Clique, The Au Pairs, The It Girl, Private, The Insiders, Summer Boys, and Seven Deadly Sins. And probably more.

Lots of books with very pink covers, none of which qualify as romance novels, none of which qualify as literature. Books by people like Plum Sykes, Lauren Weisberger, and Emily Giffin. Next up? 24 Karat Kids.

Also, I'm kind of chomping at the bit to get my hands on Dedication, the new novel by the craptastic authors who brought us The Nanny Diaries and Citizen Girl. I read the book jacket and was very surprised to learn that the authors actually bothered to give their protagonist a NAME this time around.

I'm also really excited for Kristin Gore's sequel to Sammy's Hill; I devoured Sammy's Hill two summers ago while living in exile at the Gray's house, and have been looking forward to more from her ever since.

just like sweet tarts

This might be the most singularly delicious food product I've had in the past two months: Acai Pomegranate Wildwood Foods Organic Soyogurt Smoothie.

It tastes so scarily like Sweet Tarts, I even made Kevin try it. Kevin, no fan of the texture of a soy drink, was reluctant to try it. He conceded it was "tasty," but also reminded me that he'd have "texture issues" with drinking any more of it.

Required Reading #9: Ice Haven

Let's hear it for the Mountain View Public Library, who are starting to carry a great array of graphic novels. I've avoided reading this one, mostly because I couldn't justify the price for the quantity of content, but I'm glad that I was able to get it for free - it's fantastic.

I'll be brief in description (since the book is brief in itself) and suggest that it's Daniel Clowes's homage to Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio. That is: a portrait of a town, with all of its dysfunction, for us all to enjoy.

What's perhaps most remarkable about this novel is that each character believes himself to be at the pinnacle (or, I suppose, depth) of despair, only to learn that actually others are much more pathetic than himself. Indeed, the most pathetic character (Random Walker) is perhaps the only character who fails to view himself as such.

Did I like this book? Let's just say I dug out my I-make-you-go-blind tiny book lamp to read this last night, while baby Peter and Kevin softly snored next to me. (Of course, I compensated by taking a nap today. But. I gave up sleep to read this.)

yum-a-la, yum-a-la, yum-a-la

I risked the happiness of my son to purchase this: Breyers Fried Ice Cream flavored ice cream.

It was worth it.

Plus, it's allegedly "light" ice cream. Score!

dvd town 3 - now with a side of DVR

So, about the only thing you can do with a newborn who likes to eat and sleep and be held all day is watch television. I've tried alternatives - like reading a book, or knitting - but unless I develop a third and fourth hand, that's just not going to happen.

Plus, let's be honest: my attention span has collapsed, in part from sleep deprivation and in part from constant attention to a baby that might be on the verge of a freak-out. I can barely handle reading Newsweek, let alone a novel.

So...television it is. Which is terribly embarrassing as Kevin and I had agreed to a TV-free world for Peter's first two years; we've since amended it to TV-free once he actually seems to pay attention to the screen.

In a serendipitous turn of events, we're mysteriously getting super-extended cable again. (Actually, it's not so mysterious, but entirely related to the cable meltdown of a few weeks ago.) Which means hours and hours of DVRed movies.

A few hits and misses:

28 and 35 Up

These two entries continue the stories of the cute British kids who (for the most part) grow up to be remarkably normal and boring British adults. I confess to being a fan of Nick, the cute farm-boy-turned-nuclear-physicist; Bruce, the sensitive mathematics teacher; and Tony, who very prophetically said at 14 what his life would be: he'd be a jockey, but, if he weren't successful, he'd be a cabbie.

We all were much cuter 14 years ago.

It's a bit tiresome to watch the archival footage from previous years with each episode, but I suppose it's useful given these documentaries were released seven years apart. In some weird way, it's like attending a high school reunion. (Point of fact: I have never attended a high school reunion, and I doubt I will. But I can imagine.)


Little Children

"Mmm...sexy naked Kate Winslet." - Kevin Ross, movie critic

Kevin's no Pauline Kael (or Roger Ebert, for that matter), but he does hit the nail on the head: much of this movie rests on the shoulders of sexy naked Kate Winslet.

Kate Winslet gets much naked-er in the movie.

Both Kevin and I had read the book a few years ago, while on vacation, and we both agreed that while the movie was nice, the book was much better. In fact, the only thing the movie had going for it was - all together now - sexy naked Kate Winslet.

In fact, the only other difference offered in the movie version of this story (other than, of course, sexy naked Kate Winslet) was the newly-appropriate conversation Kevin and I had regarding which of us were more likely to be a character in the movie: me, as bored housewife and mother (although not nearly as sexy or naked as Kate Winslet), or Kevin, as bored stay-at-home dad with failed career.


The Family Stone

Preface: the ONLY reason we watched this movie is because it didn't demand our attention. The plot was as transparent as a piece of Scotch tape, which is useful when watching a movie during your infant son's witching hour.

What the @*$?

Seriously.

In what sicko, perverted family would such wife-swapping be okay, let alone joyfully celebrated? Yick, yock, yuck.

And while love at first sight is a nice plot device, it demands something more than a quick glance and a short conversation for the audience to buy it. Otherwise, it reads a lot more like lust at first sight - which is probably a much more efficacious, if less noble, plot device.

In fact, the only interesting part of this movie was Kevin's outraged response, which included many "what the @*$@?" and "are we supposed to believe this *$(#*@?"

In conclusion, "it sucked." - Kevin Ross, movie critic.

Volver

Who knows? We had to return it, since we realized that watching anything with subtitles would be out of the question for the next few months.

important life lessons the Lost season finale taught me

This is about as realistic as Jack's future beard looked.

(1) If you ever survive a plane crash, you may get something called a "gold pass" that allows you to have free flights for life.
(2) Always let the plucky fat man help out, because he's actually quite helpful.
(3) One-eyed Russians are almost impossible to kill.
(4) Don't even try to put on a fake beard and mustache, because it will be painfully obvious to all.

worst. endings. ever.

Part 1: 24

Please point that somewhere else, I'm too busy yawning.

Look, people who make 24, I suffered through your barely palatable season with very few complaints, but I cannot abide by your season finale. Lame, lame, lame. Who cares? Unless you:
(1) Told me that Josh Bauer was indeed Jack Bauer's son, as we all know his is;
(2) Killed Audrey Raines, because she is bor-ing;
(3) Finally resolved Agent Doyle's vaguely evil status.
(4) Is Wayne Palmer dead? Seriously. He might be. Why not a check-in with the President?

Although, some credit:
(1) Chloe as a mother could be entertaining. Certainly pregnant Chloe could be hilarous.
(2) Ricky Schroder's amazing acting chops. (And if you want to know way more than anyone ought to about why he's Ricky again, check this out.)

Part 2: Heroes

Hiro the Hero

So I'll avoid highlighting some of the more obvious plot holes (like, why were people so concerned with keeping the invincible cheerleader safe? and why did Nathan have to escort Peter Petrelli to his atomic explosion - why couldn't Peter fly himself? and why could a well-positioned bullet kill Peter Petrelli but not his atomic explosion?) What makes Heroes finale so dumb is that the whole season was building to this episode and it turned out to be so lame. "OK, I'm Peter Petrelli with lots of cool superpowers at my disposal. I'm facing my archenemy in a fight to save millions of people. What should I do? Oh yeah, I'll just punch Sylar in the stomach a few times. That should do it." This supposedly epic showdown was just so dull. And the "connections"? What was Mica's job - to make sure they could use the elevator? So that Nikki could hit Sylar with a parking meter? And why isn't Mohinder - i.e. the worst character & actor on TV - dead yet? Lame.

Lost better be good.

Human Giant

Oh, I love Human Giant. It might be the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Maybe it's Lil' 9/11, maybe it's terms like "child arsonist," or maybe it's the deer that pushes strollers into oncoming traffic.

Plus, any show that gets cameos from Ted Leo and Devandra Banhart (and plays some Iron and Wine along the way) has to be pretty solid.

dvd town 2

loudQUIETloud: A film about the Pixies

It should be called: the somewhat disappointing film about how many ex-Pixies realized (a) they need money and (b) people still want to see them, leading to conclusion (c) let's get back on tour.
(A tour that I totally would have supported, had I not been with my darling husband hiking the Sierra when they trod through NC.)

As far as music documentaries go, this was kind of weak. I think End of the Century was much more interesting. I kind of think even DiG! was more interesting. Perhaps the Pixies' entertainment value was hampered by the emphasis on sobriety. Perhaps it was hampered by the fact that so little of the film featured the music. For whatever reason, it merits a "meh."

Our comments:
(1) Kevin: Kim and Kelley Deal should have their own reality show. They're hilarious.*
(2) Amy: I wish Frank Black would keep his shirt on.**

* They really were.
** Seriously, 75 percent of the non-concert footage of Black Francis a.k.a. Frank Black a.k.a. Charles Thompson showed him stripped to his shorts, usually sprawled out on some hotel bed. Ugh.

Seven-Up! and Seven Plus Seven

These are the first two documentaries in the British "Up" series, and they are both informative and hilarious.

So the premise is that the director selected 14 seven-year-old kids in 1964, and he will follow them to see what the future "bankers and shop stewards" of Britain will be. As we hear often in the documentary, "give me a child until he is seven, and I will give you the man."

The kids are pretty adorable when they are seven - most are unabashedly precocious, while others are painfully shy. There are lots of little prep-school boys - the type who sing "Waltzing Matilda" in Latin - and a few public-school punks as well.

At fourteen, the kids are less adorable. They're actually a bit more painful; a few of the children are so awkward and so shy that they can barely look at the camera. (I think Neil and Suzy should get it on. They might be each other's only chance.) And, a few of the kids are much more punkish this time around, particularly John. As Kevin said, "that kid was the worst." At seven, he disliked the public-school kids because they were "quite dirty;" at fourteen, he was ready to get rid of the democratic right of labor unions to strike. I can only imagine what fascist stands he'll take at 21.

I'll just have to wait until this week's Netflix delivery.

dvd town

Thanks to the surprising bounty of the Mountain View Public Library, and to the good folks over in Los Gatos at Netflix, we're overflowing with television-watching goodness.

Which is good, since when BDR crashes the party, the TV will be persona non grata.

Also, I'm semi-retired, and, really, have you ever tried knitting to NPR? Not only does it automatically age you 35 years, but you get really sleepy too.

So, what's in our DVD cache? Borat, for one. And though we've seen it already, it was totally worth renting it again if only to hear Kevin's shriek when opening the Netflix envelope: "what the hell is this shit?" (If you haven't seen it, the DVD is packaged to look like it's been pirated. Kevin's super sense of perception obviously fell for the ruse.)


Actually, the rental was worth it for two scenes: a deleted scene at a supermarket, and the Jay Leno/Borat/Martha Stewart bed making scene from the Tonight Show.

In the first, an uncommonly patient supermarket manager answers Borat's questions about products in the store. Unfortunately, every question Borat asks is "what's this?" and every answer is, "cheese." And the supermarket manager answer this question well over 30 times. Without getting angry.

I suspect he has a toddler at home.

In the second, Martha Stewart valiantly attempts to make a bed, while Borat tries to get into bed (and possibly her pants) and Jay Leno stands off to the side as if to avoid lawsuits.

At one point, Borat asks Martha if all three of them will get into bed; Martha replies, "oh, no. That's kinky." To which Jay questions, "Martha, have you had two men before?" Martha's outrage at Jay's question is a little forced, if you ask me - like perhaps she has something to hide - but she, of course, denies it.

At which point Borat takes off his underwear.

Earlier in the week, we watched Half Nelson. Kevin's two comments about the movie are, first, "I don't think I can ever listen to Broken Social Scene without thinking about Half Nelson," and, second, "Oh, did Half Nelson clean himself up?" after seeing Ryan G0sling in a preview with Anthony Hopkins. I should note that the character is not named Half Nelson, or even Nelson for that matter.

Half Neslon also is notable in that Jerri Blank's mother is Half Nelson's mother. And she's still an alcoholic, but a 60's- style radical one.

Speaking of Strangers with Candy, perhaps the most exciting find at the MVPL was season 3 and season 5 of Curb Your Enthusiasm. (Recall that Stew the Meatman plays Larry's dentist in season 3.) With my own collection, I have about 30 hours of misanthrope to rock.

thespianism at its finest

Snakes on a Plane might be the best movie I've ever seen.

At first, I was a little disappointed that it took over 20 minutes to introduce either snake, or plane, or Samuel L. Jackson.

But, the action quickly made up for it. Specifically, when the snakes bit the private parts of the couple getting it on. And the wiener of the dude using the bathroom. And the eyeball of the fat woman. And the tongue of the woman who was trying to use the barf bag.

Yeah, it was awesome.

dear writers of 24

Pretty please . . .

. . . more Jack Bauer.

(Also, not to be picky, but I'm pretty sure the National Security Advisor isn't a cabinet position. Sorry, Karen Hayes.)

coincidence?

Is it just me, or does 24's Gredenko sound a lot like Strong Bad?

And Noah Daniels might be one of my favorite characters ever. Man, he's insane. (Although, you have give credit to Fox's surprising restraint in never naming what Middle Eastern country's getting nuked. My money's on Iran. Kevin concurs.)