Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I-40 Part 1

Well, we're nearly half way there. Currently we're bunked in rare style at the Biltmore Hotel in Oklahoma City. This fine establishment boasts a number of amenities, including:
- a country-western themed club
- an off-track betting station and sports bar
- half a dozen pools.

This is a massive step up from our previous accommodations, which were sketch at best. Now, I'm down with staying at the sketch to save a dollar or two, but the past few nights have tested my resolve if just for the fact that my "worldy belongings" were so conveniently contained in one little 14-foot truck in the parking lot, which, upon further inspection, looks so ripe for the boosting.

Some highlights: the Travelodge in Knoxville TN featured a blood-like stain on the carpet and proximity to an adult entertainment store.



Bad, you think? A new level of sketch goes out to North Little Rock's Americas Best Value Inn. No, I didn't forget the apostrophe: they did. Here are a few of the sights that greeted us as we checked in: a police cruiser making some kind of police report; several notices about being sure to lock up your car and checking for IDs before opening doors; possibly an hourly rate (we're not entirely sure); a can of Keystone Light just outside of our door; and - really, the toughest of the lot to swallow - a bed sheet so stained - ug, I can't continue. It was pretty wretched. And, if it had been just wretched, we might have stuck it out. However, we were concerned about the "worldy belongings" again, so we relocated to a Motel 6 in a different part of town, where at least we knew we wouldn't catch herpes from the bed.

The drive mostly has been uneventful, in both a positive and negative sense of the word. It's dreadfully boring, so I've started taking photographs. A lot of them. While driving. Mostly, of myself, but also of other stuff as we passed it: the Wigsphere in Knoxville, that pyramid thingy on the edge of Memphis, a nuclear reactor in southern Arkansas, and Kevin as he speeds past me in the UHaul.




Also, we've both been listening to a lot of radio.
Some observations, in a semi-rant form:

(1) What's up with all of these Christian Rock stations? Seriously. They're clogging up all of that useful low-frequency band space that NPR calls home.

(2) How many modern country music stations can one possibly have? My estimate is two. Usually, there are five or six. There is no need for this, as modern country music may be the worst music ever.

(3) At what point did Poison become classic rock? Come on, people. This is decidedly unacceptable. You can't follow up the Everley Brother's "Dream" with "Unskinny Bop."

(4) Did anyone ever hear that All Things Considered piece about the classified ad show "Swap Shop?" WELL, I heard the show, in Tennessee. It was awesome. I'd rather listen to that than to modern country music, especially if Lambchop can score the background. (See this link to make sense of this comment.)

(5) There are a lot of conservative radio shows (unsurprisingly). They are (surprisingly) entertaining, mostly because they angry up my blood.

(6) Shakira's hips do not lie.

I have posted photos from the Clinton Library. You can access them by clicking on the photo below.

The Library was tremendous fun, especially since it showed on a semi-continuous loop that hilarious video Clinton did for his last White House reporters' dinner - you know, the one in which he has nothing left to do except for scam for free ice cream bars and buy honey ham on eBay?


Mostly, though, the Library serves as this weird reminder of how great the 1990s were, what with the stock market soaring and the peace making around the world (well, except for Rwanda and Bosnia and Chechnya and Haiti and Eritrea and, oh, a little place called the Republic of the Congo) and the President who didn't violate our civil liberties like it was a fraternity hazing prank. If Clinton wasn't a great President, he certainly was among the luckiest.




Finally, Kevin and I watched Monster House in 3-D while in Little Rock, and everyone MUST DO THIS. I cannot stress how important this is. For me, it's like:
(1) Vote
(2) Recycle
(3) See Monster House (in 3-D. Not regular. It's not worth it. But definitely 3-D).

It's crazy cool, and, according to previews, A Nightmare Before Christmas will be released in 3-D too.

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