(Or, we'll get lost wandering the showrooms and be found months later, trying to eek out a meager existence in one of the 200-square-foot apartments.)
(Or, we'll be mowed down by hostile and pregnant shoppers who demonstrate the same skills with a jumbo shopping cart as with their jumbo cars.)
But, we've had occasion to visit the yellow-and-blue behemoth once or twice since moving to California. It's just down the road from us, and, it's kind of the ideal place to purchase baby furniture, as it actually sells furniture that doesn't have frills or loops or lace or any of the other stuff that seems so hard to avoid.
Really, though, the main reason we go to IKEA is to eat - and not the fish or the Swedish meatballs and the lingonberry juice, but the panzarotti.
Click on pictures above to view larger images.
"Panzarotti?" you ask. "What are they? Sounds Italian."
As Kevin so aptly described, panzarotti are a food found within a 20-mile radius of his parents' home in South Jersey. And, apparently, IKEAs across the U.S. They're basically deep-fried pizza pockets, and taste exactly the way you'd think they would. (Loyal readers might be thinking to themselves, "sounds like a window to weight gain," and they would be correct.)
Kevin prides himself in being a kind of IKEA panzarotti connoisseur. A sample conversation may highlight his skills.
Kevin: They're really good today.
Amy: What makes them "better" or "worse"?
Kevin: How much they taste like they've been frozen. These taste really fresh.
Which, I suppose, is true. I find Kevin's skills all the more - er, impressive - given that he typically has no taste for freshness or post-frozen foods.
